Kitty

Just Jess: Writing & Editing

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Revised Logline Critique Round - #11
Kitty
justjess
TITLE: Incandescent
GENRE: Romantic suspense

After crash landing a drug dealer’s plane, Jack stumbles into the world of Seely Davis, reclusive horse-whisperer. Jack seems to always be one step behind the dirty DEA agent that burned him and they’ll have to dodge bullets, avalanches and bombs as they fall in love - if only Seely’s past doesn’t cripple her future.

Read the original logline on MSFV.

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You're really close here. It could use some streamlining ie:

Special agent Jack crash lands a drug dealer's plane onto Seely Davis, reclusive horse-whisper's ranch. Jack is always one step behind..."

Make it clear that Jack is not a drug dealer...

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