Kitty

Just Jess: Writing & Editing

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Revised Logline Critique Round - #12
Kitty
justjess
TITLE: CRACKED
GENRE: YA Urban Fantasy


Charmingly wicked half-demon Meda is forced to hide from hell’s army in a school for demon-hunters--who mistakenly believe she’s a saint. Now she must figure out why the demons are after her (or, more importantly, how to make them un-after her) before her hosts figure out her goal isn’t world peace--just not to get ripped to pieces.

Read the original logline on MSFV.

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Cracked

(Anonymous)
The first line is excellent. I'd stop there, as it leaves my imagination going wild. The second line narrows the story and includes the echo of "figure out," which isn't a strong phrase to begin with.

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