Kitty

Just Jess: Writing & Editing

words. books. life.

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Revised Logline Critique Round - #12
Kitty
justjess
TITLE: CRACKED
GENRE: YA Urban Fantasy


Charmingly wicked half-demon Meda is forced to hide from hell’s army in a school for demon-hunters--who mistakenly believe she’s a saint. Now she must figure out why the demons are after her (or, more importantly, how to make them un-after her) before her hosts figure out her goal isn’t world peace--just not to get ripped to pieces.

Read the original logline on MSFV.

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I actually liked the parenthetical phrase as it is worded, because it gave me a better feel for the character. It needs to be smoother. The last line is a little clunky, too.
My thoughts...

"Charmingly wicked half-demon Meda is forced to hide from hell's army in a school for demon-hunters. She must find out why the demons are after her and stop them before her hosts discover she's not a saint bent on world peace and rip her to pieces before the demons get a chance."


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