Kitty

Just Jess: Writing & Editing

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Revised Logline Critique Round - #14
Kitty
justjess
TITLE: Unitus
GENRE: YA

LOGLINE: Teenage girl seeks to escape her dystopian society through alien abduction, but the alien she summons turn out to be a fierce warrior who wants to kill her.

Read the original logline on MSFV.

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Teenage girl is too vague. Give her a name so we can connect with her. It's pretty bare, though. We need more explanation of what's going on. Is she summoning the aliens to kidnap her or is she abducting them as a means of escape?

  • 1
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