Kitty

Just Jess: Writing & Editing

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Revised Logline Critique Round - #17
Kitty
justjess
TITLE: Ravishing Midnight
GENRE: Adult Urban Fantasy

When Demon Control officer Rieve discovers that her transplanted heart is a demon’s, she uncovers the witches’ plot to use hybrids like her to eradicate the demons and sever their dependence on demon energy for stronger magic. Only the unique power Rieve gained from her heart donor can stop the witches, who don’t realize that destroying the demons will destroy their own magic, turning their plot into an all out apocalypse.

Read the original logline on MSFV.

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It sounds very interesting, but very complicated, which makes it hard to summarize in fewer than 100 words. ( I had the same problem). So I don't know if this will help much, but if you could be more clear, with fewer words-really tighten and explain more. Like: After discovering that her new heart derived from her enemy, Demon Control officer Rieve uncovers a plot to use demon-human hybrids...etc. You obviously understand this better.Also I got confused between the demons being the bad guys and the witches.

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