Just Jess: Writing & Editing

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Revised Logline Critique Round - #11
TITLE: Incandescent
GENRE: Romantic suspense

After crash landing a drug dealer’s plane, Jack stumbles into the world of Seely Davis, reclusive horse-whisperer. Jack seems to always be one step behind the dirty DEA agent that burned him and they’ll have to dodge bullets, avalanches and bombs as they fall in love - if only Seely’s past doesn’t cripple her future.

Read the original logline on MSFV.

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I like this a lot and would definitely want to read more. If Jack is your protagonist, I'd use his last name since you've used Seely's. Also, who is Jack? He crash lands a drug dealer's plane, but is he a "good guy", a "bad guy", somewhere in the middle? Give us a little idea of who he is, i.e. undercover cop Jack...

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