Just Jess: Writing & Editing

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Revised Logline Critique Round - #17
TITLE: Ravishing Midnight
GENRE: Adult Urban Fantasy

When Demon Control officer Rieve discovers that her transplanted heart is a demon’s, she uncovers the witches’ plot to use hybrids like her to eradicate the demons and sever their dependence on demon energy for stronger magic. Only the unique power Rieve gained from her heart donor can stop the witches, who don’t realize that destroying the demons will destroy their own magic, turning their plot into an all out apocalypse.

Read the original logline on MSFV.

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I feel like this is very close, but there's just so much information it's a little overwhelming. Maybe you don't have to explain everything about the witches and demon magic - just the really crucial part, that their plot will inadvertently turn into an apocalypse if Rieve doesn't stop them? If this were just a bit cleaner, it really would be perfect. Good luck!

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